I should be less responsible.

I think it would benefit myself and my husband if the two of us were normal. Our friends that we love dearly and hold close to our hearts are wonderful, caring, sweet irresponsible individuals.

The majority of people between the ages of 18 and 23 are irresponsible, well, the majority of the ones I know. They flake out on things, miss family gatherings, dabble in recreational drugs (hey, whatever man) spend money on things they don’t need, live well beyond their means, have mountains of debt, party constantly, consistently battle hangovers, and are not dependable.

For some reason, my husband and I are not. We are responsible. We budget our money, pay all of our bills on time, spend responsibly, attend family gatherings regularly (dance recitals, Sunday dinners, birthday parties, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Bat Mitzvahs, whatever) are consistently paying down our debt, party when we have the time, avoid hangovers because we get up early in the morning, and are dependable. 

Our families call on us for everything. We don’t mind. Picking up someone from school here, feed the dogs at the parent’s house there, take so-and-so to his school dance, babysit blahblahblah for a couple hours so we can go to a movie-all of that. Yay. We are those people. The ones who will show up when someone calls in the middle of the night. We love our families, we will do what they ask. We relish in feeling loved because they can depend on us.

THAT BEING SAID,

This week has been some bullshit. I’ve contemplated playing in traffic on the highway because I’m so miserable. This is where I draw the line. We’ve been married a whopping 5 months. This last request is beyond un-fucking-reasonable.  My husband’s Aunt lives in the same city as us. She’s a nice old bird, in small doses. Sweet lady, in SMALL DOSES. By small, I mean a couple of hours max, before you start thinking about which window to jump out of so you can run. She talks too much. She is stubborn. She abides by extremist interpretations of the Bible. I have nothing against religion, I am religious, but don’t throw odd beliefs at me (I like beef, if the Bible says a hamburger is a sin, oh frickin well) I like to stay up late. I like to smoke cigarettes. I like going out to get a drink when my husband gets off work (around midnight, 1 AM) I like MY OWN HOUSE. I have lived on my own (+my husband for a couple years) since I was 17. I like having my own rules. I like having my own house. I fuckin pay for it, I’ll do what I want.

-Anyway

for the past week I have been stuck babysitting my husband’s aunt. Her kids do not live here. They live out of state. All of them.  So me and my husband were volunteered to monitor her, much to her dismay. But not before EVERYTHING in her home was picked up and whisked away by her kids. Cookware, decorations, seating, plates, forks, EVERYTHING. I’ve been sleeping on a floor. I have to sneak out and walk behind the house to smoke, because she doesn’t approve. I can’t listen to music. I can’t I can’t I can’t. On top of this, she doesn’t even want us there. She wants to be ‘independent’ even though she can’t walk two feet in one direction without almost falling.  Everything about this situation SUCKS. It SUCKS!

I’m convinced that if we weren’t dependable, this wouldn’t have been pushed off on us.

I just want to go home. I almost feel betrayed by my husband because he agreed to this horrible situation. Didn’t we take vows to protect each other? Did we promise each other to put one another before anything and everyone else? I put my husband before my family all the time, when you get married, that’s what you do. When you get married you tell your family, hold up muthafuckas, this guy comes first. People who don’t do that, usually complain about their significant others, and shit all over their relationships. Well, usually. From what I’ve seen anyway.

She is fucking rude too. Every time she’s on the phone with one of her fellow old lady friends, she tells them that she wishes we’d go home. I always want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs

“I want to go home, but your fucking kids will hold it against me forever!!!!!”

Nobody else seems to take this seriously. She can barely fucking walk. But are her kids there? NO. Does she think she needs to use her cane? NO. So if I decided to go home one day and just say fuck this, and she decided to eat the hardwood floor, I would be in some serious shit with her kids. Her kids are in their 40’s. But they have the maturity of 16 year olds in high school. I know for sure that If something happened and I wasn’t standing guard, they would berate me and try to ruin my marriage.

Yeah, how’s that for a plot twist?

I can’t work. I can’t sleep. I can hardly eat.

I have slept maybe 10 hours in the last week. I haven’t made any sales at work this week. I don’t eat lunch, I eat very little, if at all. I don’t even want to try to eat food.  and i LOVE food. My entire life has become subject to someone I don’t particularly like, and who I’m pretty sure doesn’t even like me that much.

I have this odd inkling that if I were to see her off to bed, and go home, she would miraculously decide that it was a good night to “fall”. and then I would be hung out to dry. This Aunt has quite the reputation for being a liar and well, a bitch.

The story-

My husband’s Aunt has a brother. Nice man, a bible thumper, constantly preaching about God, whatever. He’s a nice man. Once upon a time he had a wife. Nice lady.  My husband grew up with her, she lives close to us, we see her often. We drink with her, hang out, hang out with her kids and her new husband. No big deal. Anyway, a few moons ago My husband’s uncle decided he was going to sleep around with other women while he was on business trips. Bing, they got divorced. No surprise. The real surprise was when my husband’s Aunt and her brother decided to peg his soon to be ex wife as depressed, addicted to drugs, a horrible person, unfit to raise their 4 kids. All in the name of a good old fashioned custody battle. Ex wife got custody, the Uncle got child support and the Aunt got…shit. Ex wife HATES the Aunt to this day and I’m pretty sure they haven’t exchanged words in the last decade. From what I’ve heard, the Aunt is an evil, plotting, scheming, judgmental, fake, two-faced person. From what I’ve seen, I would say its close to the truth.

 

She makes comments on my appearance and behavior that make me uncomfortable. and annoyed. I’m not an angel. I’m not a saint. But getting a side eye from her drives me up a fucking wall. I see the way she looks at my tattoos. I see the way she looks at me when I talk to my husband. She looks at me while I eat. She walks around while I’m sleeping.

bleh.

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